


(Haunted by the) Ghost of You

by blxrrystark



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), M/M, Marvel Universe, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Steve Rogers Has Issues, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, tony stark and steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:11:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17377607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxrrystark/pseuds/blxrrystark
Summary: "So, do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked, setting down the cloth and brushing his hand up and down the other man's forearm.Tony's eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to stare at the blue-eyed soldier facing him."About what?""I can tell there is something wrong, Tony. You can talk to me, I'm here."





	(Haunted by the) Ghost of You

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mess of a "fic"? idk if i can even call it that but um yeah, I don't write often and I'm really bad at it so fair warning!

It was on the way to Clint's supposed "safe house" that Steve was able to take notice of the emptiness glazed across Tony's eyes. He looked lost, like he was completely detached to the world surrounding him, being completely engulfed in an alternate reality of haunting ghouls tainting his every thought. 

Steve wanted everything to just go over to Tony, hold the genius' hand, and assure him everything was okay. But he didn't. Couldn't.

Maybe it was because Steve had a certain sort of pride, or maybe it was because he himself did not believe that the current events would sway in their favor. Or maybe it was just because he was a coward and could not admit vulnerability to the very man a few feet in front of him.

No matter the reason, he just didn't. He himself was still dealing with the aftershock of it all anyway.

Peggy's voice flashed back into his head, the promises of _ home _ laced through her voice.

Steve winced, shaking the image out of his brain. He always tried so hard not to get lost in the hopeless spiral of wanting his old life back. That was long gone, and dwelling over the past did him nothing good.

Steve glanced up at the dark-haired man again, only to find his brown orbs, darkened by pain, staring back at him, glassy and emotionless. The eye contact broke within seconds but the strain of it still lingered.

For the remainder of the trip, Steve allowed his mind to be empty, desperate to forget the thoughts that tried to trickle up his mind.

\---

When the Avengers arrived to Clint's farmhouse, the ice that frosted the air was broken as they all did their best to put a smile on their faces and pretend as if everything was fine. The thought of a team of superheroes, all of which were tired and aggravated, staying in a small farmhouse for a night or two was somewhat amusing, so they all made a valiant effort to lighten up.

When the idea of sorting rooms came about, well, Steve and Tony had been chosen, or rather forced, to share a room.

He recalls Clint saying, "We all know Bruce and Natasha are having their own little thing, and Thor left, so that leaves you two idiots to get over yourselves and share a goddamn room for a night. Think you can handle that?"

Tony huffed in annoyance but went on to say, "We're adults, not teenagers, and I love my buddy Steve over here. And sharing a bed with Captain America? I'm basically living every teenage girl's dream!"

Steve rolled his eyes affectionately, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Oh look, the Captain's flustered."

Tony laughed and patted Steve on the back. Steve would have appreciated the gesture more but he could tell that the laugh and smile Tony wore was fake, and he was just trying to cover up how he really felt.

Steve sighed, and gave Tony and Clint a weak smile.

\---

He never _ wanted  _ to argue with Tony.

It just happened. They would disagree on one little thing and then go at it for hours. It was irrational, really. He honestly thought he argued with Tony just as an excuse to talk to him, which was truly just sad.

His relationship with Tony was a troubling thing. When they had first met, he despised the man. He later understood that that wasn't the real Tony. The real Tony was a selfless, loving human being with a heart so big that Steve just wanted to protect it with all his ability, so no one could ever harm it.

They still argued quite a bit though. They both were stubborn people and there were just  _ so  _ many things to squabble over. Steve hated it though. But of course here he was, arguing with Tony in the beating sun, both of them irritated and exhausted.

He said things he shouldn't have. Things he didn't mean. But now the damage had been done, he was an asshole and here he was again, too prideful so he fought. When Laura asked Tony for help he got away from the situation as fast as possible.

So yeah, Steve really hated himself for that.

_ Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the "why" we go home? _

Home.

_ Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people die. _

Steve shook out the words echoing through his head and finished chopping the logs, each cut growing with frustration over himself.

\---

It was 2 hours later when Steve submitted himself back to the quaint house, heading straight upstairs to "his" room, not wanting to deal with the ongoing judgement that remained downstairs.

Natasha eyed him as he slouched up the stairs, but decided to let it go and let him deal with what he had to, giving him a small smile as he trudged by.

When Steve entered the room, he found the bathroom door open with Tony standing there in the mirror, seeming rather small and fragile. He held a washcloth up to his face, presumably attempting to clean the fresh cuts on his face from the early day's events. His hands were trembling, unable to carry out the function the man instructed them to.

Noticing the weakness covering the other man, Steve softened his stance and hurried over to accompany Tony, "Hey, hey, let me," Steve carefully took the cloth from Tony's shaking fingers and tried to lead him over to the bed to sit down.

"Cap, s'fine. I don't need your help."

Steve sighed but continued to direct Tony over, "Doesn't matter, I'm helping, you're not making very good progress anyhow."

Tony reluctantly nodded in silent agreement, taking up on Steve's offer. They sat up on the edge of the bed, and Steve took note on how Tony's toes just barely reached the floor. He stifled a laugh; Tony held a tall presence but in reality he was rather small.

Tony's head was bowed, so Steve gently tipped his chin up show his face. The cuts present had of course closed up by now, they did need to be cleaned though.

Steve dabbed the washcloth carefully on Tony's cuts, while his other hand wrapped absentmindedly on the genius' wrist.

Tony inhaled sharply but did not push Steve away, he instead closed his eyes and leaned into Steve's touch. The wrinkles creased around his eyebrows seemed to soften a bit, and his shoulders relaxed.

Steve quickly but attentively worked on removing the grime and dirt off of Tony's facial features, pushing Tony's hair out of his face to see his work. Tony barely stirred, too lost in whatever train of thought was consuming him. 

"So, do you want to talk about it?" Steve asked, setting down the cloth and brushing his hand up and down the other man's forearm. 

Tony's eyes fluttered open, taking a moment to stare at the blue-eyed soldier facing him.

"About what?" 

"I can tell there is  _ something  _ wrong, Tony. You can talk to me, I'm here."

It seemed as though the other man was about to slip on the mask again and say something witty or playful in avoidance, but instead his eyes darkened again, unmistakably exhibiting pain beneath them. Tony shifted his head away, breaking the eye-lock he and Steve had formed. 

Steve didn't push anything, just waited. The silence that had formed become more deafening within every second that creeped forward. Tony was still turned away from Steve, stagnant and quiet.

When the man finally spoke, he slowly twisted back to Steve, "All of you... were gone. Y-you, Steve, you were dying. You all were"

Tony choked a bit, swallowing hard and lifting his head up to look Steve in the eyes. Steve inched toward Tony, brushing a tear off Tony's cheek with his thumb and gave him a soft, sympathetic look.

"It was my fault," Tony heaved out, "I had lost you, a-and the others. My fa- my team was gone."

Steve could feel Tony spiraling back down into the horrid memory that that  _ weird _ Maximoff kid had implanted into his mind. He once again grasped Tony's wrist, hoping to ground him back to reality.

Tony snapped back, clutching Steve as if he was the only thing keeping him tethered to Earth. His eyes glazed shakily over Steve's face, then his hand, becoming aware of his tight hold on the other man, loosening his grip a bit. 

"Hey, it's okay. It never happened. I'm here, here with you. The others are too. It was nothing other than a horrible, horrible vision," Steve gave Tony's hand a quick squeeze, "and that won't happen. Never. I- We're not going to leave your side, okay?"

Tony slumped into Steve's arms, tired and longing. He was breathing heavily, undoubtedly sobbing through the Steve's shirt. Steve wrapped his arms around the other man, wanting to seal him from the terrors of the world surrounding them.

"Please.. please," Tony huffed, "please don't leave me, I know I don't deserve it bu-"

"Oh my gosh, no, never, Tony. I won't ever leave you. It's only the  _ least  _ you deserve. And I mean that," the words gushed out of Steve's mouth, unsure and only wishing to say everything, everything that had been bottled up inside him.

Tony pulled away to stare into Steve's ocean eyes, his face was red and strained, but he looked nothing less than beautiful to Steve. Tony lifted his hand and ran his fingers through Steve's golden-blonde hair, " _ Steve- _ "

Steve met his mouth with Tony's. The kiss started out unsure and hesitant but Tony pulled Steve closer and his heart bloomed with desire. Their mouths glided, dancing in harmony and Steve just longed for Tony to understand how much he appreciated him, admired him,  _ loved  _ him. 

"God..  _ Steve _ ," Tony huffed in between muffled kisses, "please.. please don't go."

" _ Tony _ ," the name was like a melody to the soldier; Steve broke away, but still kept them close together, holding each other like if they let go everything would fall apart, "I'm staying. Anything we go through, we will together. Always."

Tony pulled Steve back into a kiss, tugging at his hair and smiling against his teeth, "Promise?"

Steve took a chance to look at the hopeful, chocolate brown eyes in front of him, "Yes, I promise," and wrapped his hands around the other man's waist, sealing the moment. 

\---

Steve snapped back into reality, desperate to shake away the loving memory. There was no doubt his face was strewn with loss and pain. That moment from all those years felt so far from him, though still so very haunting. He had wanted to mean every word he said to Tony in the room of that dumb farmhouse, he  _ meant  _ to mean every word. 

But he didn't, he had done what everyone else did to Tony Stark. The person that everyone thought was a selfish, arrogant man, was quite the opposite. Everything that was handed to the genius was terrible and undeserving, yet he dealt with it. That was how wonderful of a man he was.

And Steve had gone and done what he pledged not to, he ruined everything with the only thing that ever actually mattered.

Steve was the only one that was able to get Tony to ignore what everyone else thought, and enjoy his life because he deserved that much. And yet now Tony probably thought that Steve himself had proved him wrong.

_ I ruined everything. _

Tony had picked himself back up though, Steve was so deplorable and pathetic that he still tried to keep tabs on Tony, because no matter what the dark-haired man thought, Steve always still cared. He couldn't stop. 

He was engaged now. With Pepper. Steve supposed this was good, he had moved on, he was happy. He also seemed to have undertook a caring for a teenager named Peter Parker, who Steve was sure Tony cared much more about than he led on. 

So yeah, Tony had a new, better life. One without Steve. 

Steve couldn't be mad about that though, because it was his fault that things had broken apart.

But  _ why  _ Steve had done it?

He used to just think it was once again pride, on both of their sides. But he realized that they could have worked it out, they always did before. So this? This was just shame, on Steve's part. Steve was so ashamed of himself for being so stubborn and  _ dense. _

For he had broken his promise.

And could not take it back. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Told you it was a mess, sorry you had to read thattt  
> This is stupidly melodramatic at some points, I'm very aware of that and there's probably a bunch of grammar errors so again I'm sorry!  
> Thank you for reading though <3


End file.
